4P Inc: Perpetual Preemie Parent Paranoia: Tick Tock...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Tick Tock...

Noah's endoscopy is right around the corner (2/7) and I can't help but feel anxious. On the one hand, I really hope that we can find some resolution as to why Noah is having such a hard time with feeding and transitioning to solids but on the other hand I really don't want him to be intubated again. It's a requirement for this surgery just like it was when he had his hernia repairs done. And while he didn't have a problem getting extubated last time I always worry about situations involving his oxygenation because he was on O2 for so long in the NICU. Please say your prayers for our little mister.

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Meet Our Miracle

Noah Matthew was born on a rainy Winter day, Pearl Harbor Day to be exact, in 2009. We like to think it was Noah's way of warning us, a day that would live in "infamy", LOL! My pregnancy and Noah's birth was not like many other of his preemie friends. I had contracted H1N1 (Swine Flu) at 24 weeks and had to be put into an induced coma my first night after the ER because I was essentially already dying. Over the next 5 weeks I was on a ventilator, got a DVT (massive blood clot) from a line in groin, went into renal failure and eventually had to get a trach. As I began to wake up from being weaned from the paralytics, Noah started experiencing heart decelerations and the decision was made to deliver him via emergency c-section at 30 weeks. Noah spent 90 total days in the NICU mostly dealing with severe GERD, slow weight gain, ROP, anemia (2 transfusions), hernia repair surgery, and weaning off of oxygen. It was, for the most part, an uneventful stay but the post-traumatic stress I experienced in dealing with my own mortality and subsequent paralysis in my right leg/foot, made things that much more stressful. No longer was I the strong, independent and fully capable person I had been before. The first few days and weeks I held Noah, I was in a wheel chair or seated with a walker in front of me. How would I ever take care of this fragile human being who depended on me for his life, when I couldn't even take care of myself? Noah is doing wonderfully and is only slightly delayed in gross motor and is about to start the process for Speech Therapy. Other than his many gastrointestinal issues (reflux, horrible gag reflex, vomiting, constipation, inability to transition to purees/solids, and slow weight gain) he is doing remarkable.

If there is any doubt that God exists and is merciful, all you have to do is look at Noah and bear witness to his miracle work. With only 10% survival for the both of us in that first couple of weeks, we defied the odds, and it was only by the grace of God, many prayers, the wonderful care of doctors/specialists/nurses, and our determination to live. My hope is that this blog is a testament to how very grateful I am that I am able to kiss my husband at night and tuck my son in for bed. Amen!